Saturday, November 20, 2010

INSPIRING SPEECH

photos Julie B Montgomery
In 2005, Steve Jobs, of Apple Computer and Pixar Animation, gave this speech to the graduating class at Stanford University. He urges students to pursue their dreams and see the opportunities in the setbacks of life. I know it's a little long for a blog entry but I couldn't help myself as it inspired me to tears. It's worth the read. Enjoy!

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots. I dropped out of Reed College after the first six months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another eighteen months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth  by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And seventeen years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition.  After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out okay. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the seven miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - yogurt, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parent’s garage when I was twenty. We worked hard, and in 1ten years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over four thousand employees. We had just released our finest creation- the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned thirty. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at thirty I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events,  Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at  NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I had a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was seventeen, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as
if it was your  last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past thirty three years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of  death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next ten years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it  to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, thity five years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run  its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was  your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an  early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry.  Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself.  And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. Thank you all very much." - Steve Jobs - June 2005
 

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

POWER OF ECLIPSE




We're coming up to another eclipse this month. June 26, Lunar Eclipse 4:30 am PST. Below are some interesting thoughts from a Rinpoche about eclipses. I encourage you to harness a little of this potent eclipse energy and schedule some meditation time, whether it's primordial sound with a mantra, or the one minute meditation (see former posting), or simply whatever makes your heart sing. Maybe spending some time in the garden, making art, baking a cake or getting on all fours and playing and laughing with a child. 

Lama Drimed
An announcement from Khenpo Sotagye Larong Monastery:

"According to Kalachakra Tantra, any postive action committed during the days or periods of solar or lunar eclipse, its merits get multiplied thousands and millions of times.  Before HH Jigme Phuntsok Rinpoche passed into parinirvana, he had been emphasizing practice on these particular days. Sangha are encouraged to vastly engage in positive deeds and refrain from negative actions or wrong-doings, recite mantra, release life, adopt vegetarian diet, or entering a Nyung-ne retreat. All of these activities are extraordinary ways to accumulate virtue."


Image Cornell University

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Lovely Tree Poem



click image to see larger




Trees 

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth's sweet flowing breast:

A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in summer wear,
A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.

by Sergeant Joyce Kilmer 1886-1918

Blossoming Cherry Tree, drawing from the sketchbook of Julie B Montgomery, Copenhagen, 2002








I dedicate this poem to all mothers, especially mine, who models creativity in everything she does.  Happy Mother's Day.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

GROUNDING: A One Minute Meditation


photo Julie B Montgomery

Bumping in to tables? Can't make a decision? Feeling the need to be grounded? Try this simple method for 1- 10 minutes a day. Great for everyone! This method has saved me over and over. I ground everything from what I don't want, what I do want, inspiration, lack of inspiration,  my fears, hopes, paintings... even "the answer to the question, what's the best thing to do about blah blah blah". The only thing I don't ground is Henri, my four year old. Our children naturally ground thru us, however it's unhealthy for a parent to ground thru a child.  So take a minute and let it all go. The Earth will keep you safe.


One Minute Grounding Meditation:


1. Sit in a chair with both feet on the ground and your arms at your sides.


2. Center: Imagine a gold ball in the center of your head.


3. Acknowledge: Place yourself in the center of your head and say hello to yourself.


4. Ground: Imagine a cord from the base of your spine to the center of the planet.


5. Clean: Drain what you don't want down the grounding cord. You can also send down what you do want.


6. Call Back: Imagine your energy as particles connecting you to others or events. Call your energy back to you.




For a guided meditation via youtube in three parts.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-ZmwokWaU&feature=related
www.psychichorizons.com
For a guided meditation via a real person  contact     john@holdenpt.com






Saturday, April 24, 2010

RUSH HOUR HYMN



Looking for beauty in traffic...



Blank Blue "Eyes Closed" from hsugi on Vimeo.

Found on http://www.tinylightbulb.blogspot.com

Sunday, April 11, 2010

FINDING SLEEP

Here are some nurturing ideas for getting a good night’s rest:


1. Go to bed at around the same time every night. Do the same routine. ie. put on slippers, brush teeth, wash face, read book, close eyes. If it's the same every night it will signal to the body… sleep is coming soon.

2. Lavender Essential Oil, a drop in the pillow. Very calming.

3. Massage your feet before bed. Dry massage is good, a warm oil massage with sesame oil even better. Add a few drops of Lavender to the bottle of oil, who wouldn't fall asleep. Great for children and babies.  See "skin" label to the right for dreamy skin oil recipes for different skin types.

4. In Aryurveda difficulty sleeping/ falling asleep is a vata disorder. Simply put, the nervous system is out of balance. Warm oil ingested in your food and placed on your skin will feed and calm your nerves. Eating warm, cooked foods instead of raw also helps. Drinking a cup of heated milk (heat till it begins to bubble on the sides of the pan) You can also steep a pinch of saffron, or add few drops of ghee to the milk. Great for children and babies.

5. Have a journal next to your bed so you can write down anything that may be on your mind and let the book take care of it for you.

6. Bach Flower Remedies makes some really lovely tinctures that are wonderful as a sleep aid. I’ve also used these a lot when traveling or overworked. There are different remedies for different kinds of sleep issues. You can find them at health food stores or at www.bachflower.com

7. Take the television out of the bedroom. Limit screen time (computer included) before bed. Watching screens stimulates/ over stimulates the nervous system.

8. Count backwards from 100, visualizing each number. note: If you are accountant this may not work for you. My insomniac accountant friend says she likes to imagine sewing the sleep and waking worlds together.

9. Remember just the simple act of lying down for eight hours will give you all the rest you need, especially if you are relaxed and calm. So take a few deep breaths and enjoy putting your feet up for a long while. You deserve it.


10. If you wake up at 3 am and can't go back to sleep it may be one of two things. 2-6 am is the vata time of night ruling the nervous system and creativity. To calm vata, rub sesame oil gently across your forehead in one motion, a drop in the belly button and on your feet to calm. I've also heard an alternative idea that it's your creativity calling you and to get up and write or draw or create enjoying the serene quiet of the early morning. Then catch up on the rest by meditating.

These ideas are not intended to be medical advice. 

Sunday, April 4, 2010

EASTER: If you make it, they will come.


photo Julie B Montgomery

Traditionally, in my family, Easter is a really big deal, sometimes as big as Christmas. What a wonderful thing it is to truly celebrate in the birth of spring. My Russian heritage brings to the table the infamous Pascha (pos-ka):  a special cheesecake molded in a flowerpot, decorated with fresh flowers and eggs and only made on Easter. 

On Saturday while making the Pascha, I realized I had no idea who, if anybody, would be joining me for breakfast the next day. My four year old, Henri was camping with his Papa, and the usual suspects were out of town. I told myself, "If you make it, they will come". As fate would have it, my good friend Caroline spontaneously decided to get a change of scenery, and drove up to visit me on the ranch. We woke up Sunday morning, decorated the Pascha with flowers from the garden, and colored a few hard boiled brown eggs with my son's nontoxic markers. Look what we made... and then ate. Yum! 


Pascha Recipe:
serves 6

2 pounds ricotta
2 pounds cream cheese
1 cup almond flour
1 vanilla bean
1 pinch of salt
sugar or maple syrup to taste
1/2 cup yellow raisins
1/2 tsp cardamon (optional)
love

Melt the cheeses in a pot on low making sure to stir often. Once melted, add flour, love, salt, rind of lemon and sugar/maple syrup to taste (about 3/4 cup). I like it a little bit sweet, but not too sweet. Add raisins. Traditionally you add a few eggs, but it's already pretty rich. I also like to add 1/2 tsp ground cardamon, but that is definitely not traditional.

Line a mold, a clean flower pot is traditionally used for the cylindrical shape, or you can used a sieve for a half round. Line the mold with cheese cloth or a clean tea towel. Pour in the warm ingredients from the pot. Let cool. Fold the excess material on top and place a heavy plate on top to press it down. Refrigerate overnight. 

Turn upside down onto a large serving plate and peel off the cloth. Decorate with flowers. For the top I used flowers I know are nontoxic like lavender, nasturtium, and sour grass. Enjoy.